Scared To Love
by 7-LunaAbraxos-7
Summary: Fang can't tell Max how he feels about her, but can his subconcious persuade him to tell her before it's too late? FAX


I pulled the bed sheet over me, but stayed sitting, waiting for Max to come out the bathroom where she was putting her pyjamas on.

I heard her swear, and I smirked.

"What now, Max?" I asked. She put her head round the door. She never locks the bathroom door in the hotels where we share a room 'cos she trusts me.

"Gazzy and Iggy are dead." She said, frowning.

"Why?" She shook her head at me. I was back to one word replies again.

"Look what they've done to my pyjama shorts!" she said, then threw them at me. I caught them, held them up and laughed. They'd cut a hole were Max's bum would be if she put them on.

"Don't laugh at me!" she said, annoyed. "Have you got any shorts or something I could wear?" she asked. I shook my head.

"Could I borrow a pair of boxers then? CLEAN ones." I rolled my eyes at her, grabbed my backpack, pulled a pair out and threw them to her.

"Thanks." She shut the door. I shook my head. Just as well Gazzy and Iggy were safely shut away in their room down the hall; else Max would be down there quicker than they could shout 'help'.

The bathroom door opened and Max came out in a tight strappy red top and my baggy black boxers. I smirked at her. She pulled a face at me.

"Ha ha." She said sarcastically. "And I'm wearing panties under these by the way." She stated, shoving her clothes and her ruined pyjama shorts in her bag before sliding into bed next to me and pulling the covers up. She yawned and shuffled deeper under the covers.

"G'night Fang." She said quietly.

"G'night Maxie." I replied.

Even though I'd called her the name I used to back when we were six, (which, every time now said, earned me a glare and/or a punch) she moved closer to me, then turned so her wings and her back were leaning against my arm.

I lay there, staring up at the ceiling, thinking.

Max.

Stubborn Max.

Half a dozen memories flashed through my mind.

Max looking at me and laughing.

Max leaping off a cliff, spreading her wings, flying off, so incredibly powerful and graceful.

Max fighting Erasers, her face like stone.

Max kissing that wiener Sam when we lived with Anne.

Max kissing me, after Ari had knocked me senseless.

Max saying she loved me when she was high on valium.

I rolled over so I was facing her back, the delicate feathers of her wings tickling my nose. I moved back slightly, then reached out my right hand and stroked her feathers with the backs of my fingers. She sighed and one of her wings twitched, but she remained asleep.

Didn't she know?

Didn't she realise this was torture? Being so close to her, sleeping beside her, sharing rooms with her in hotels… it was painful.

To be this close to her, trusted by her, her right hand man, being the only person she would tell if she was worried or confused.

To be this close to her, and yet be so far away from her, killed me inside.

I stroked her feathers again, relishing their softness.

But I would never admit it. I would never say what I felt for her. I couldn't even admit it to myself sometimes.

I loved her.

I love Max.

I put my arm round her waist, holding her close to me. Still asleep, she shuffled back slightly, so her body was flush against mine.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep…

_I ran down the hall to the only door._

_I have to find her… I just have to…_

_I flung open the door, and it took my eyes a second to adjust to the darkness._

_A pale figure was lying on the concrete floor. _

_I ran upto it, fighting back tears._

_I found her, I found Max._

_I knelt beside her._

_Now I wish I hadn't._

_I looked at her wings, which were outstretched, and my heart twisted._

_Most of her feathers were missing, they'd been pulled out, and most of the remaining ones had been burned. _

_I lifted her left wing and heard cracking noises. I felt the top of her wing, where the main bone was, and easily found out where the noises were coming from._

_The bone was broken into hundreds of tiny pieces which were rolling around in the space where the full bone used to be._

_I put her wing down and looked at the rest of her body. Her clothes were torn, and when I lifted her t-shirt, large claw and bite marks marred her once smooth skin._

_Her hair was matted and caked in blood and dirt, her face covered in scratches and bruises._

_I heard the door open and close again behind me._

_I whirled round, ready to kill._

_It was Ari._

"_See what you did to her Fang?" he asked, his voice full of malice._

"_I didn't do that, YOU did!!" I shouted, hardly able to stop myself from lunging at him and ripping him to shreds. He chuckled._

"_Maybe if she knew her love for you was returned, maybe she wouldn't have ran away and been found by us!"_

_I sat there, dumbfounded. _

_She'd loved me?_

_Ari laughed. "Shame. She was such a pretty girl. It was almost painful watching her face as I broke her wings."_

_I snapped, and leapt at Ari…_

"Fang? Fang! FANG!!" I was jolted awake. My eyes shot open and I found that Max had straddled me, trying to shake me awake. I sat up and grabbed hold of her tightly, burying my face in her chest.

She froze, as though she didn't know what to do, then I felt her hands on my back, stroking my wings, trying to sooth me.

"It's okay, it was just a nightmare." She whispered, her breath tickling my ear.

Then I realised what I was doing and pushed her away.

"Sorry." I muttered, embarrassed at letting Max see me like this.

"What happened?" she asked, her voice and face full of concern.

I let her come close to me again, letting her hold me, her head on my shoulder.

"You… ran away… and Ari… I found you… were dead… broken wings…" I knew I was incoherent, but Max seemed to understand.

"That'd never happen. I'd never leave you and the Flock. Never." She whispered.

My heart dropped. She saw me as part of the Flock, not how I wanted her to see me.

"Ari told me you ran away because your feelings weren't returned." I said quietly.

Her body stiffened, then she sat on my lap, her face snuggled into my chest.

I sat still, my heart racing. I chanced it.

I bent my head down and kissed her on the lips.

And waited for rejection.

But it didn't come.

Instead, she started kissing me back, allowing my tongue in her mouth. Then she pushed me away.

"Fang," she said, her breathing ragged. "You are the most wishy washy person I know."

Then she was kissing me again.

I breathed her in, letting her scent wrap itself round me. I pulled away, needing to say something.

Something that had waited a long time to be said.

"I love you Max." I said softly.

Then she said something that turned my world inside out.

"I love you too Fang."


End file.
